The most wonderful time of the year is once again upon us. Friends are gathering, family is visiting, and credit card companies are salivating at the mouths. It’s a beautiful, lucrative, and beautifully lucrative time of the year. Rooms have to be decorated, eggnog lattes have to be drunk, I’m assuming at least one person needs to buy a fruitcake, and presents have to be purchased. This may not be a daunting process if the person you’re buying for is “normal,” but I know that a lot of peeps out there struggle with buying for the dorky crowd. I know this because I always get asked by friends and family what should be bought for their soft-spoken child, nerdy cousin, or geeky Secret Santa recipient.
Fear not, for I’m tapped into the dweeby subculture enough to formulate a list of totally rad and geeky gifts. For the benefit of those reading, I’ve taken the Tumblr approach and divided gift ideas into specific fandoms. Have an idea of the dorky franchises they like? You’re golden as long as you have the cash.
Marc Ecko Reversable Chewy/Han Jacket
What better way to celebrate the love of the original Star Wars movies than to be two characters at once? This stylish and (I’ll level with you) fairly expensive Marc Ecko winter jacket has one side that is all Wookiee and another that screams scoundrel. Personally, I’ve been thinking about buying this for month, but then there’s this whole “paying rent” thing.
The Fourth Doctor’s Scarf (BBC Licensed)
I know what you’re thinking. Tom Baker’s run as the Fourth Doctors took place in the late 70s; there’s no way the person you’re buying for would know who he is. That’s where that line of thinking falls apart though, as any Whovian worth their weight would want to be Tom Baker every day. In fact, if you are a Whovian, it can be pretty tempting to force friends who know how to knit to make one this iconic neck warming device. Here’s the brilliance of the scarf: you can were it for cosplay or just when it is cold. If you do where the scarf out when it is cold, the people you encounter will either recognize it (and love you for it) or think it just looks sharp on you.
Bat’leth Letter Opener
According to Klingon mythology, the first bat’leth was forged in the 9th century when Kahless the Unforgettable cut a lock of his hair and dropped it into the lava of the Kri’stak volcano. He plunged the burning lock into the lake of Lusor and twisted it into a blade which would be used to fight tyrants and resolve disputes (with blood). This 8” long Bat’leth is not one of these weapons per se, but you can open your letters like a true warrior. It has an iconic design and would be appreciated by any Trekkie.
Serenity 1:300 Scale Desk Model
What better to remember one of the best sciences fiction shows to be canceled after only one glorious season than with a scale model of the Serenity herself? Hand-painted, this replica matches the TV/movie version of the beloved ship in every way. There are even two little removable shuttles in case your on-board companion needs to take a side-trip. I know I’d like one of these for my desk.
The Adventure Time Encyclopaedia
Adventure Time is pretty much the best thing to happen to television since Batman: The Animated Series came out. Fun, smart, charming, and adorable, this TV show is just as popular among adults as it is with the youngins. Every episode we learn something different about the land of “Ooo,” but wouldn’t it be great if we had a guide and could explore for ourselves? Written and compiled by the Lord of Evil himself, The Adventure Time Encyclopaedia matches the playful, subversive tone of the series, detailing everything anyone will ever need to know about the postapocalyptic land of Ooo and its inhabitants—secret lore and spells, fun places you should visit and places where you will probably die, whom to marry and whom not to marry, how to make friends and how to destroy your enemies—plus hand-written marginalia by Finn, Jake, and Marceline. MATHMATICAL!
Hogwarts House Ties
This one is a bit of a no-brainer. Got a Potterhead that you’re buying for? They likely have a favourite house. Sure, Gryffindor has produced a bunch of heroes, but what of the others? Are you cunning, resourceful, and ambitious? Sytherin is the tie to wear. Do you pride yourself on intelligence, creativity, and wisdom? Ravenclaw is the one for you. Are you good at finding things? Well…I guess you’re a Hufflepuff. Really, you could wear a different house tie almost every day of the work week, based on whatever mood you’re in. Buy this for a friend and you’re sure to disarm whatever holiday grouchiness they may be feeling. Expelliarmus!
The Lord of the Rings
The One-ring Earrings
Let’s say you know a girl who is super into the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings. She’s had to read books and watch movies in which only men will ever bear the one-ring. Maybe becoming a ring bearer would be exactly what she wants? Sure, there have been unisex replicas of the one-ring out for ages now, but I’m pretty sure this earring set is cooler. Two rings are always better than one.
Game of Thrones
Hand of the King Pin
You really gotta feel for the Hand of the King. Poor fella’ spends all day trying to keep a kingdom alive while his king gets drunk and philanders with bar maids. Furthermore, you could be a target of a lot of aggression from noble ass-hats who are trying to make a play for power. It’s tough. That’s not to say it isn’t stylish though. With this perfect replica in-hand, you’ll “build whatever the king dreams.”
Dungeons & Dragons
+5 Stones of Frost (Critical Hit!)
Let’s say that you have a friend who likes DnD a lot, but also is a classy individual. Maybe he or she really loves the taste of fine scotch, but isn’t down with the concept of adding water or ice to the drink. To this problem, there is a solution: the Critical Hit +5 Stones of Frost. These two icosahedron-shaped slabs of soapstone are perfect for tempering your drink. Any DnD’r will love this approach to an age-old dilemma.
LEGO Minecraft Micro World
What better way to celebrate a game that is basically virtual LEGO than release a LEGO set based on the game? Help Steve survive his first night in a strange new world. Avoid the creeper and start mining for resources that will help you survive and thrive. Configure your four micro-scale LEGO Minecraft modules any way you like. Build your own mines and hills, and expand your world with multiple sets.