PunctualDork

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Xenoblade Chronicles - Confirmed for April 6, 2012 NA Release

The Last Story - Confirmed for 2012 NA Release

My Brother Answers: What are the Hardest and Cheapest Games You’ve Ever Completed?

A challenge is a good thing when playing a video game. Sure there is the rare game where scores, kills, or levels attained are not the goal (the game “Flower” comes to mind); but c’mon even Katamari Damacy has you on the clock and at the end of the level tells you how big your ball of stuff is.

It’s all about having a goal, and having a goal makes the challenge all the more worth it. You have awards floating around in your Xbox360 or PS3, detailing your accomplishments be they easily attained or hard to find. But before those accomplishments came to be, there was one long thing that in earlier games would act as your goal. Did you beat the game? Not how much of a gaming score did you pull out, or what percent did you complete. Did you climb the mountain, plant your flag, and move on to the next peak?

Still, let’s be honest, some of these mountains were damn treacherous. Earlier games like Battletoads and Contra would establish themselves as being an ascent that would require multiple stops to recover ( “ Now don’t forget to put in the 30 lives cheat code”) and the help of friends to act as guides ( “ You go out in front so I have a chance to see what will try to kill me next ” ). They are tough and many gamers have given the first few levels a go and then move on to safer terrain.

Then there are those games that appear to be small hill, and then you realize that this slow incline is being suddenly covered with slick oil and you for some reason are now juggling blowtorches. Seem a little unfair – well that is because it is. Due to poor level design, bad balancing of boss characters, or unnecessarily high time challenge demands the game has caught you by surprise and slapped you across the face. Yup it hurts, but instead of putting down the controller and using the logical section of your brain, that area where your pride is stored cries out for vengeance.

In the elementary school hallways of video-gamedom, the former is the bully in the hallway. Rough and consistently blocking your path, you know what you’re in for if you try to step up to him and should you succeed it leaves a scar of pride (“I beat Ghosts and Goblins, and I still kept my lunch money”). The latter is your easy going pal that you head out to recess with and play four squares or soccer. All is good, until one day he gets just a little too much sugar and decides to take his short term sweetened psychosis out on you. You don’t see it coming, you feel betrayed, and you’ll be damned if you’re going to let him think he can push you around ( even if he does have some pretty cool toys).

Hardest Game You’ve Ever Completed

I’m not going to consider Contra or Battletoads, because there was no way I was completing those without a cheat code or going co-op ( you try going into Battletoads solo from front to back. You may be able to do it, but the costs for anger management and broken controllers with weaken the accomplishment).

No, for me one game stands out as a challenge, that you have to take on solo, that there are no cheat codes for extra lives, but still holds a warm place in my video gaming heart. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you… Mega Man 1.

The first Mega Man game presented a unique concept to my 9 year old brain – you can choose what stage you start at, with it being themed after one of 6 “robot masters”. Wow, what a rush of power! I can go anywhere, I can fight anyone of these guys. Then you choose one, and the level kicks around your ass. Fine, no problem, I’ll go to this one instead. Nope, still experiencing ass-kickage here. How bout this Guts Man guy’s level…… holy crap, those mineshaft trolleys are hard. They flip down and everything. What do you mean I’m already out of lives?

Eventually, your timing gets better. Eventually, you master a sequence of jumps or calculate when to move past an enemy’s shot and you get to the boss. Sure you’re down to your last life, but we have a shot here right? Sure you do (Reading 8.3 on the Sarcasm Scale here people). Thing is, unlike some of the bosses in Mega Man 2 (Metal Man, Flash Man) that you can get past just with a proton gun and “okay” timing, in Mega Man 1 your timing had to be tighter than spandex on a sumo unless you were lucky enough to have a spare life in your pocket to start over with a full life bar (even then, no guarantees buddy).

So why is the game “hard” and not “cheap”? Well, maybe it’s the fact that for all the challenge that the game presents from front to finish, it is all about timing. Sure it will punish you severely if you are off by half a second. But if you learn, and you make it to the end of the level, and you know this guy’s pattern, and you have enough life left…. well, then you just might make it.

Here is the best thing though. If you conquer that level, you not only destroyed that robot master….. but you also took his stuff. His weapon is now your weapon, and suddenly you can shoot at different angles, pick up blocks in some levels, etc…. the whole game begins to open up a little more. Plus – some of these things that you swiped, well they just happen to be the weaknesses of some of the hardest robot masters that owned you a few weeks before.

Still there would be other challenges to face. If you got past the 6 initial levels welcome to the unforgiving Yellow Devil who was a sub-boss that was absolutely merciless. Even Dr. Wily was in one of his hardest presentations in the whole series.

The challenge of Mega Man 1 required some tweaking in subsequent games like the addition of Rush the dog that can help you get to that extra life, or use of an energy tank so that you could fill up your life if needed on the spot instead of seeing a game over screen. Still, Mega Man 1 was a solo slug fest that made me a better gamer. It taught me fine motor timing and the need for persistence to accomplish what you want. It may not have been the most enjoyable, but it probably was the most rewarding experience I’ve had with a controller in my hands.     

Cheapest

Mortal Kombat (latest iteration, also known as Mortal Kombat 9)

To play a fighting game, is to play against a cheap boss at the end. It is an accepted phenomenon – be it Bison or Rugal, Dural or Inferno, Eternal Champion or Ogre (and props to you if you know what fighting series all 6 of those bosses come from), it’s pretty much understood that the boss will have more damaging attacks and/or uncanny timing and/or methods to make you helpless for way too long. It’s the boss character, and the rite of passage to see the end credits (plus wouldn’t you want to be the bad ass as well. I remember how sweet Street Fighter II: Championship Edition was because now you could select the boss characters). Plus, if you want to just tick the difficulty level down and you have a better shot.

Now picture all the things that frustrated, annoyed, and pissed you off about these and other fighting boss characters. Good. Now throw that into a big pot, mix it into one, and throw in some trash talk at your expense. Heat over multiple continues and serve up again and again. Mmmmm, mmmmm! A nice steaming bowl of Shao Khan. Bon Apétit!

Shao Khan is relentless. Once you here “ Round 1. Fight!” he now owns your ass! Be it shoulder charge or arrow, you will lose a ton of life and likely he will know when it’s best to hit you next. There is a reason this character has gone back to being an unplayable boss in the latest game. It’s not that you can’t beat him (you can spam Liu Kang fireballs or select a teleporting character to boost the likelihood) but to beat him you have to be as cheap as he is the whole fight. I’ve enjoyed the series and the latest game has been a big step in the right direction, and because of those two points I both understand and accept this Shao Khan. That does not mean however I don’t feel some shame when I see the credits pass by.

My Brother Asks: What are the Hardest and Cheapest Games you’ve Ever Completed?

“What is the hardest game that you have completed (a worthwhile, tough experience) and what is the cheapest game you’ve completed (something you completed more on principle than on it being worthwhile)?” - Troy

What a cool question Troy. We all run into those game that are FRUSTRATINGLY hard and usually facilitate a ‘fight or flight’ response. Those that are determined to finish will usually do so because the game is legitimately worth it or because of their pride.

The interesting thing about my choices is that they are both in the same vein:

Hardest:

Super Castlevania IV

There are few games as legitimately challenging as SCIV. From start to finish this game puts you through your paces. Rather than droning on about how this title has one of the better plot lines within the series or that animation is superb (and in some places - innovative), we should focus on the gameplay mechanics themselves. 

Levels are well designed and intricate, enemies all bring something different to the table, stairs aren’t your enemy anymore, jumping and whip mechanics are solid, and when you get your ass kicked you feel like you deserve it. New players will die a lot (in fact, it may be pertinent to input a few extra life codes), but the challenge makes the game seem more rewarding and pushes you forward.

Cheapest:

Bloodrayne: Betrayal

Betrayal was a game I was really looking forward to. Not everyone is a fan of the Bloodrayne franchise - which I get - but it has always seemed like a diamond in the rough to me. The change from 3rd person action game to 2D Castlevania-esque platformer seemed like an interesting one and I was digging the hand-drawn art style. 

Unfortunately, this art style threw off hit detection. Killing things and jumping became far too difficult as the controls weren’t tight enough. You die because the odds are stacked against you, not because you lack skill. It’s cheap and unbalanced. I only bared through it because I had to.

Regardless of pride, I don’t recommend that you play this title.

10 Annoying Online Gamers

I’m not an online gamer. I don’t join raids, log into player hosted rooms, capture flags, or participate in team deathmatches. I choose to avoid this type of gaming and opt for single player campaigns not because I’m an anti-social, sequestered shut-in, but rather that I don’t have to deal with certain online attitudes if I play by myself.

Every person is different and brings something new to the table. Unfortunately, not everyone is awesome. Gamers in particular need some lessons in social etiquette and I wanted to point out the types of gamers that are annoying enough to make me avoid online games and slim down my friends list. Without further ado:

Racists/Homophobics 

I know that social norms can be hard to follow online. There’s little accountability for the things you say to one another because you aren’t saying them to a person’s face. Some people think that spouting epitaphs, slurs, and deprecating comments via Xbox Live or PSN is fine because there is no authority breathing down their necks. I don’t.

I was raised well enough to know that if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, you probably shouldn’t say anything. It doesn’t matter that this person is a stranger and there are no negative repercussions for being a dick; in a civilized society we should be able to just have fun without attacking people without due cause. People from all walks of life can be awesome. 

Super Religious Preachers

One of the things that pushes many people forward in life is the faith they subscribe to. This is a good thing…for them. I see no issues with other people believing in something, but problems arise when they start telling you that what you believe in is wrong.

Let’s be clear: Religion is like a penis. It’s nice to have and okay to be proud of, but don’t shove it down other people’s throats.

Everyone has the right to believe what they want and it’s not fair to impose your views onto others…especially while they are gaming. Xbox Live and PSN should not be a platform for you to go all Al Sharpton on the competition.

“OH MY GOD, A GIRL!” Gamers

You know that one guy who’s never been laid and spends waaaaaay too much time killing things online? The idea of female gamers is absolutely shocking to him. So shocking in fact that he will try to play a game of 21 questions with her in the game’s lobby and approach her like a sexy alien species. If he is especially creepy, he’ll provide tips & tricks and offer to protect her during the match.

Let’s be clear: female gamers exist and are not new to the video game landscape. They are just as capable at video games and could kick your ass as easily as a male player. Take them seriously and maybe they’ll not mute their mic every time they join a gaming lobby.

Hyper Feminist Gamers

This is the flip side of the coin. Don’t get me wrong, female gamers are awesome and so is feminism - my beef is with the women who kick your ass and then hold their ovaries in triumph proclaiming, “You just got your ass beat by a girl!”

Regardless of gender, I don’t like shit talkers. Some feminist gamers do themselves a disservice by pushing the importance of their gender over their own gaming prowess. Be a good gamer who happens to be a girl, not a jerk that makes girl gamers look bad. 

Whiners

No game is perfect, but some people just can’t get past the minor details to enjoy the experience more. Either there are too many vehicles, not enough guns, jumping mechanics aren’t realistic, or not enough online play is supported. 

Let’s not be children. We play video games to have a good time. I can’t have a good time when you’re bitching about every crack in design and texture pop-in. Nut up or shut up.

“THIS IS BETTER ON PC” Guy

There’s always gotta be one ass hole that decides to say, “This is better on PC.” 

Folks - there is only one response to this statement: “Go play it on PC.”

Seriously, what the hell do you think you’re accomplishing by complaining that the PC version is better than the console version. You only serve to antagonize console gamers while making yourself look like an idiot for buying an inferior version of the game.

Rage Quitters

Games are frustrating. More than once I have wanted to fling my controller at the wall due to difficulty spikes.

THAT SAID - If you’re playing with other people and their enjoyment of the game is contingent on you not dropping out, don’t rage quit.

You end up looking like a baby who just can’t handle failure. It’s pathetic and makes games less enjoyable for the people who got stuck with you.

KAMIKAZE Gamers

Okay, so you aren’t really taking the game seriously. That’s fine. You don’t have to keep playing.

Deciding to screw with other people for fun because you don’t really want to play the game is a dick move. You wanna mess around for fun? Take it elsewhere.

Adolescent Gamers

I’m sure we’ve all played a game with someone within the 10-14 age group. Some people will say it’s not fair to suggest that middle schoolers shouldn’t be playing online games. These people are (mostly) wrong. 

Not to generalize or come off as ageist, but a majority of the people in this 10-14 age group are not as mature or respectful as your common adult. Kids yell, scream profanities, and act rudely because they don’t know better - I get that. I just don’t get why they’re playing in my ‘M-rated’ FPS game. 

If kids are gonna play online, they should be playing age appropriate titles. That way I can subvert high-pitched voices and teenaged idiocy by playing bloody & violent games.

The DJs

We all love music, but I don’t want to listen to yours. Death Metal, Electronica, and Nickleback have no place in my headset during a death match. 

Turn it down or turn off.

A Quick Jot: Renegade Game Designers

Notch, Tim Schafer and David Jaffe: Three creative, renegade game designers that just do their own thing. 

Life in the gaming community has been interesting of late as the creative dudes out there that DON’T make Sports/FPS games have be saying, “screw you” to pretty much everyone in the industry. 

While Notch has notoriety for being the driving force behind Minecraft, he recently took a step back from lead development of the IP to move on to other projects at Mojang (because he’s awesome and crazy). On point of recent interest was his public offer of funding to Tim Schafer of Double Fine Studios to make Psychonauts 2…which is awesome, yet sensible cause Notch is rolling in mad-cash and no one else will fund the follow-up to the awesomeness that was Psychonauts. 

Interestingly enough, Schafer at this point in time had decided to fund an entire game via Kickstarter donations. Schafer expected around $80k to make a small action game, but at the writing of this article Double Fine has received over $1 million in fan donations alone for this mystery project. Finally - concrete proof that fans appreciate creative direction. At this rate, he won’t even need Notch for P2. 

For the uninitiated, Jaffe is the man behind God of War and Twisted Metal. His development house recently decided to realign and focus on iPhone & iPad gaming. After some layoffs, Jaffe decided to high-tail it out of Eat Sleep Play games before the release of his PS3-Blockbuster lovechild ‘Twisted Metal’. There had been some initial talk of Jaffe moving into the casual games market until he addressed the media by saying, ”I have zero plans to make games like FARMVILLE and ANGRY BIRDS. I never said what I was doing post TM …  I will be opening a game studio here in San Diego because I really miss internal game development. Happy to share more details later.” As always - nothing is slowing him and his development plans down. 

This is why I love Renegade Game Designers. They do what feels right and focus on the core of the game over industry standard.