"Can you give any tips on asking a girl or guy out if you’re a massive nerd?"
Sure. Why not?
Let’s begin by recognizing something up front: in spite of three (3) waves of feminism, there seems to be this ongoing belief that men have to ask women out. They don’t. Men like being asked out by women or men, in the same way women like being asked out by men or women. It’s complimentary.
Secondly, I recognize that dorks and “massive nerds” can be a bit shy. Maybe even afraid of rejection. Don’t be. After a few rejections (usually 2-3) you tend to stop caring. Also, the reward is worth the risk.
Now that we have those two points out of the way, let’s discuss a few concepts:
(1) Dress to impress. I’m not saying “be vain,” I’m saying “give a shit about your appearance.” Nothing turns people off than someone who is too lazy to shower. Be clean, wear nice clothes that you feel confident in, and try to smell nice.
(2) Flirting is nice, but being blunt is better. Yes, people send signals and sometimes you can tell if they like you simply by paying attention to their hands and face. Blah, blah, blah. At the end of the day, everyone likes brutal honesty.
Just say straight up: “Can I buy you a coffee?” or “Do you wanna go out sometime?”
Tip-toeing around people is a waste of time. Be clear about your intentions.
(3) Be in the right context. Don’t ask people out after a family member has died or when they’re working. Wait until you’re both in a comfortable place that you can both escape from.
(4) Have a date in mind. Indecisive people suck. If you ask someone out, have an idea of what you want to do. Maybe, do something that appeals to your shared interests.
(5) Have an escape plan. Yeah, there are times when asking someone out is weird and doesn’t work. Don’t put yourself in a situation in which you can’t escape. Like asking someone out during a long car ride or in the middle of a movie at the theatre. That’s a rookie move.
(6) Respect their responses. If they say that they aren’t interested, don’t villainize them or call them a slut/ass behind their backs. Different people like different things and they may not be a good fit for you. That’s okay.
(7) Don’t over do it. Sometimes when you haven’t dated for a while it is like all of your emotions have built up and are ready to explode.
DON’T EXPLODE OVER THE PERSON YOU ASKED OUT.
We all have emotional baggage and strong feelings. Don’t tell someone you love them on your second date or throw your past problems on them. No one wants that when first dating. It’s too much pressure and kind of threatening.
(8) Finally, as I’ve alluded to before, be a nice person. Always. Remember to be kind. If they don’t reciprocate, don’t cry about how “it sucks being a nice guy.” It doesn’t, shut up.
I hope that helps. It’s all about nerves and having guts. I believe in ya.